Era of Great Depression

     Dear Friend,
To be honest, I’m not quite sure who this ‘friend’ is. But, let’s just say you’re my bestfriend, one who nods, and listens, and doesn’t say anything. I was just wondering how to be happy. I really feel like it’s impossible to force happiness upon yourself. I mean, I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried smiling, laughing, being crazy, out of control, looking good, and it almost works sometimes. Sometimes, I really believe it. But, then I go home. All alone with my thoughts, all I have on my mind are the memories I’m trying to forget, pounding against my skull. And that’s exactly what it feels like. Pounding. It makes me want to scream. It’s like a never ending alarm clock on a Monday morning. I scream stop in my head, but it doesn’t go away. I rub my temples, hoping to soothe the hurt out of my mind, but it doesn’t stop. It won’t stop. The thoughts are horrible. They make me feel insane, yet numb to the pain I’m feeling. I’ve had dreams. Horrible dreams. They tear me apart the most. The worst part is, that I can no longer decipher my dreams from reality. The pain I feel during those dreams stay with me all day.